The Spendthrift's Progress

Nipple Confusion

No, not the girl. Me.

See, since the girl was born, I've been pumping with an ancient loaner Ameda Purely Yours, a pump that has served many of my friends well through the years. And it has been a fabulous pump, if the word fabulous can really be applied to something that makes a person feel even more bovine than when looking at Vogue spreads. However, in recent weeks, faced with thrice-daily pumping, it's been making cranky, sickly noises.

As the current keeper of the collective pump, I deemed it my duty to find a replacement before passing it on to the next pumper. And so I did, getting a good deal on a new pump via eBay. The new pump, I should mention, is the same as the old pump. Sure, they changed the style a little, and the font on the front is different, but that's about it.

It arrived yesterday. Thrilled by its shiny newness, I put it in my bag and brought it to the office with me today, where I promptly unplugged Pump 1.0 and plugged in Pump 2.0 and eagerly awaited my first session (well, as eagerly as one can--like fabulous, it's not a word that really goes with pumping), only to find myself frantically flipping through baby pictures in a desperate attempt to achieve letdown. Sessions two and three were worse than session one, and by the end of the day, my productivity in the boob department was down a full 25%.

Pump 2.0, while as loud as Pump 1.0, has a steady, whineless beat. No hiccups or wheezes, no moments when I think it's about to die on me. And there, I fear, lies the problem. I'm conditioned to letdown to the whines and stutters, and my poor breasts have been thrown for a loop by the sudden change.

By the end of the third session, the only way I was getting anything out was to start pumping with Pump 1.0 and then quickly swapping the power and hose back to 2.0. If tomorrow doesn't bring better results, I'm afraid I'm going to have to break out the freezer stash...

posted by mohmlet @ 7:24 PM